Running not Racing

I like to win.

I like being right.

I'll freely admit that I am a highly competetive person. I like to be first, I like to be right, I like to be the best. I HATE being wrong. I Hate it with my whole soul. It wounds me deeply and makes me feel like a big fat failure. I like getting recognized for the work I do and I like Praise.

I'm dealing with a situation where I work. I have a challenging student this year. He is a sweet little boy but he has issues....Big issues, and try as I might I feel like I am losing the battle with this student. Every technique, every strategy, every idea that I have works for like a day and then blows up in my face.

I ask for help or the ability to speak to someone who might be able to help with the situation and I am met with walls, and excuses. I never receive a thank you or a pat on the back for good days, and I am met with resistance on bad ones.

I've been studying the book of Hebrews. And the part where the author talks about running the race, with such a cloud of witnesses around us cheering us on. It's such an encouragement to know that there are other believers, others around me who are dealing with similar situations, who have dealt with the same challenges and have come out on the winning side. I don't have to win this one, I don't have to be right, I don't have to Fix this problem...I can't do that. I have to run and be the best teacher that I can be for this little boy. I need to dedicate my time not to focusing on the negative but the positives. To embrace the situation head on. To focus on loving this little boy the way Christ loves me with all my faults and problems. I have to run the race set before me....not to win the prize but to please God. I need to give my issues to HIM...I need to be open before HIM and let HIM work through me. It's not racing for a Prize or a Victory but running through my Christian life and working on being more of who my Savior wants me to be, a reflection of the one who died and gave his life for me, not because He wanted a prize but because it was the act of a Loving God.